The Year Before
by whatsgold
Summary: Begins the morning of the 73rd Hunger Games. Katniss and Peeta have yet to be reaped. What happens when they become friends before the 74th. PRE- Hunger Games. DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES
1. Chapter 1

I am jolted awake by a noise so blood-curdling I nearly scream out myself. I thrash around in bed to find the source, and my heart sinks as my eyes find her, so sweet and small, whimpering beside me. My baby sister, my precious Prim, is curled up so tightly in her attempts to shut out whatever caused the screams to escape her lips. "Shhh, Shhhh, Prim. It's okay. It's okay, I'm here. I'm here, you're only dreaming. I promise you're only dreaming." Her blonde eyelashes flutter open and her pale blue eyes meet mine. By our differences in appearance you would swear we aren't related. But she is the spitting image of my mother, with their fair eyes, hair and skin. My mother resembles more of the others who live in town, the merchant class of District 12. But me, the Seam runs thick through my blood, the blood of my father. _My father_. _My father_. The thought sends shudders down my spine, and I shove the thought away and turn back to Prim. I clutch her against me and stroke her hair. "You're too sweet to be having dreams like this, little duck. What were you dreaming about?" "It was me. It's always me," she whispers. _The Reaping_. _She's dreaming about The Reaping_. "Shhhh. It's not going to be you, Prim, your name is only in their once this year." I silently curse this all, curse the Capitol, and curse the fact that we even live in this godforsaken place called Panem. Here, in District 12, they take everything and give nothing. It is one of the poorest districts, with the Seam being home to those who are forced to survive on a mere fraction of what is thought of as enough.

It all started many, many years ago, back when the country was one unified body ruled over by the Capitol. When a rebellion broke out, the enraged Capitol destroyed most of Panem, leaving behind twelve districts to be at the complete mercy of the tyrannical President Snow. He then established, as a way to remind the districts of their complete dominance, the Hunger Games, an annual tournament where children between the ages of twelve and eighteen are chosen to compete in a battle to the death. This year marks the 73rd year of the Hunger Games, with the Reaping to take place in only a few short hours.

"How are you so brave, Katniss?"

Her small voice is barely a whisper, and I look down to realize I am clutching her so tightly my knuckles are beginning to turn white.

"You make me brave, little duck. I do it for you. I have to do it for you."

A sad smile is on her face as she looks up at me, not oblivious to the edge in my voice.

"Oh Katniss, I love you. You're the bravest most special sister I could ever ask for." And with that, she snuggles into my lap and begins to hum our song. _The song he used to sing. My father._ For the second time I am forcing those thoughts out of my mind. _Don't cry, Katniss. Do not cry. She cannot see you cry._ I wasn't lying when I said she made me brave. I was forced to become this way five years ago, the day that he-

"Will you sing to me?" Her voice jars me out of my thoughts.

"Only for you, only for you." And I begin to sing along to the song she has been humming. The Valley Song.

I can hear her breathing becoming heavier as she drifts back to sleep. I lay her head down onto her pillow and silently creep out of the room. I grab my boots and my old leather jacket, and almost run out the front door of our house when I spy the small package waiting for me on the table. It's goat cheese from Lady, our goat. _Oh Prim. _Even when she is terrified for her life she never fails to think of others. I shove it in my pocket and run out, realizing I am probably late to meet Gale.


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes I don't know what I would do without Gale. He is my best friend, my other half, and most importantly, my hunting partner. I nearly shot him with an arrow the first time we met, something he doesn't let me easily forget. He also calls me Catnip, which he calls a term of endearment but I see it as one of his annoying habits. I am barely under the fence and to the tree that hides my bow when he pops out of the bushes, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. "Someone forget how to read a clock, Catnip?" I can just hear the smirk in his voice and I turn, and sure enough there it is. I roll my eyes and gave him a shove.

"You know what day it is don't you? I was with Prim!"

His smirk falls instantly, and his dark brow furrows with that defiant look he gets whenever we discuss anything that relates to the Capitol. With his coloring, we could be related. We share the same olive skin, dark unruly hair, and hardened grey eyes, traits characteristic of the Seam.

"I guess I should be easier on you…but just this once. I don't want you thinking I got all soft on you." And with that he turns and leads the way into the forest.

It's a warm morning, and I work up a sweat as we hike the three-mile line where our snares are set. It's a successful one too, with several rabbits that we can trade in town. I too am successful, shooting a rabbit and two birds straight through the eyes. This makes me smile. Not many things make me smile these days, but I can always count on the woods. My hunting reminds me of my father, as it one of the few skills he could pass on to me before he-

"Where are you today, Catnip? It's like you're a hundred miles away this morning. Have you eaten?" Gale looks back at me with a concerned gaze. _Please. You're only two years older than me, stop worrying_.

"I haven't actually, thank you very much." Then I remember the cheese. "But Prim left a little something for us…" I pull out the goat cheese and see his eyes light up.

"I swear I love that girl more and more every day!" He looks years younger as he bounds back to his pack, grabbing- can it be- one fresh roll from the bakery, still warm. "And we'll make a breakfast feast of it yet!"

My eyes must be big as saucers because Gale lets out a deep chuckle. It rushes over me and makes me feel at home. It's never been romantic with Gale, which is a huge relief, aside from the girls at school shooting me glares every time they see us talking in school. It might have something to do with the fact that he is one of the most handsome boys there. But I don't talk to anyone at school aside from Gale. Well, I sometimes sit with Madge, the mayor's daughter. She doesn't have many friends either because most girls our year are jealous. She's quiet like me though, and doesn't ask many questions. She once told me that all the girls hated me because they thought I was with Gale. I quickly assured her that there was nothing to be jealous of- I wouldn't give up Gale's friendship but that is only because hunting partners are few and far between in District 12.

He tears off half the roll and gives it to me. _This smells like heaven_. _Heaven I could never afford_. Bread of this quality is a luxury for us in the Seam.

"Happy Hunger Games!" he sarcastically proclaims.

"And may the odds be _ever_ in your favor!" I say in my best Capitol affect.

We sit in silence for the rest of the morning, watching the sun come up.

Two hours later, I have scrubbed the dirt and sweat from the morning off my skin and washed my hair. I look down at my bed and see the blue dress my mother has laid out for me.

"Can I…" Her voice startles me, and I turn to see my mother standing in the doorway. My frail mother. _Some mother you are_.

"Can I braid your hair?"

I force a smile, and sit on the bed so she can start.

It wasn't always like this between us. It happened five years ago, after the accident. It started out as any other day. The last thing I remember about him is him humming the Valley Song, planting a kiss on my and Prim's head, and wrapped my mother up in an embrace. I never saw him after that. The official report say it was a gas leak in the mine, but that day no one who entered the mines made it out alive, let alone in one piece. This included Gale's father. That was also the last time I saw my mother. What was left of her was a shell of her former self. She left me, she left Prim, she left everything behind. It took months to coax her back to some small semblance of a functioning human being. It only happened when she realized that Prim and I were on the brink of starvation, when she finally started to come back to us. I haven't been able to look at her the same way since.

When she finishes, the three of us, my mother, Prim and I, walk to the center of town for the Reaping. I spotted the Hawthorns, Gale's family, gathering across the square and give them a nod. Prim and I take our places in the respective roped off age groups, with her up towards the front. I crane my neck to find Gale for a reassuring look, and instead find a pair of bright blue eyes staring back at me. They flit away when we make eye contact, but they are unmistakable. _Why is he always looking at me?_ I can see their owner, Peeta Mellark, awkwardly shuffle back into line, muttering something under his breath. I shake my head and finally spot Gale. He gives me a nod and a small, sad smile, and I can't help but recognize a glint of fear in his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

The Reaping flashes by in a blur. The girl chosen, thanks in some small way to my incessant prayers for Prim and my safety, is Oliva Mundt, a seventeen-year old girl from the Seam. I have often traded my squirrels with her father down at the Hob. The boy chosen is Tam Fillings, a twelve year old from town. It is always most regrettable when a twelve year old is chosen, and by the look on his face he has realized his almost certain death. They are rushed off stage, back into the Justice Building, out of our lives probably forever. District 12 never fares well in the Games, as evident by our singular remaining victor, Haymitch Abernathy. Looking at him makes me shudder. The rare times I see him he is in a drunken stupor stumbling around town. _I would probably want to forget too_.

Prim runs back to me and buries her face in my dress, small sobs hiccupping out of her tiny frame. A heavy hand finds its way onto my shoulder, and I see the relief flood into Gale's eyes. _He is safe. Oh my god, he is safe_. Since Gale is eighteen, this would've been his last year to be reaped. _He is safe_. A huge smile breaks onto my face, and his eyes soften as he envelops me into a bear hug. When he finally releases me, I look past him to see Peeta Mellark again, staring back at me. Although his name was not called, his blue eyes seem to be glassy, as if a tear would fall at any minute. I see his brother come up behind him and lead him back towards his family. Gale's mother, Hazelle, announces that she is hosting dinner at her house tonight, and reluctantly we peel ourselves away and walk back to the Seam, where we belong.


	4. Chapter 4

Prim loves sweets. She always has had an affinity for the things, so every week after school I try to take her by the bakery so she can look at the pretty cakes. It fills my heart when she presses her little button nose up against the glass, eyes wide peering at the beautifully decorated puffs and pastries. I always keep my eyes wary for the witch, the baker's wife Mrs. Mellark. _Peeta's mother. _He sees us at the window from time to time, smiling shyly as he ducks behind the counter. It is two weeks after The Reaping when I take her by one Saturday to see the new cakes. I let a small giggle out as Prim runs ahead to stare in awe when I hear someone clear their throat behind me. I whip my head around, startled, and I am met with two blazing blue eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." His voice is soft and nervous.

"You _didn't_ scare me." It comes out more harshly than I had intended. If he was affected by it at all he makes no indication, and I immediately feel guilty. I've never really been this close to him before. He is much taller than me, but not at all intimidating. His blonde hair falls in waves over his forehead, and my eyes trail down to the dimple on his left cheek and his teeth are white as snow. He smells like cinnamon, no doubt from the breads he was baking earlier. I can see why the girls at school flock to him.

"She comes here often, doesn't she?" I see that his gaze has travelled to Prim against the window.

"She, uh, loves the cakes. We can't afford them but she loves to look." _Why am I telling him this? Its none of his business what we can afford_.

"I figured as much. About her loving the cakes, not about…." He trails off and looks at the ground. He looks flustered and its more confusing to me every second I stand there.

He looks back at me and clears his throat again. "I brought her something. I managed to sneak a couple out for you." He holds out his hand and in it are two of the most delectable looking cakes. I think Prim has caught wind of us talking because in an instant she is at my side, eyes wider than I have ever seen them.

"Are those for us, Katniss?" She looks pleadingly up at me and then to Peeta, who gives her the most genuinely warm smile. I feel a small flutter in my stomach, almost as if my breakfast was threated to make its reappearance. _Oh wait, I haven't eaten today_. I shake my head slightly and come back into focus, noticing that the two of them both have their blue eyes trained on me, Prim tugging on my hand.

"We can't pay for them" I blurt out before anything else comes to me. I see Prim's mouth turn into a frown but then am very aware of something else. Peeta has taken hold of my free hand and I almost rip it away in shock, but then notice that he has very delicately placed the cakes into my hand. His hand is warm and rough, but steady, and seems to completely engulf mine. I feel a pink flood my cheeks and immediately curse myself.

"They are gifts. There is no need to pay." He turns to Prim and gives her that same smile. "See? I put little primroses on the one for you. I hope that is okay, since your name is Prim and all." _He knows her name?_

Prim squeals and snatches it out of my hand, a stream of "thank yous" flying out of her mouth before she can silence them with the cake.

I look back to Peeta, and his eyes are back to mine. Only now am I aware that he is still holding my hand. I snatch it back and furrow my brows in suspicion.

"You made these?" I ask, but it comes out more like a demand. I've never been able to really say the right thing at the right time, and this is no different.

He laughs, a warm, full laugh. _Just like my father's_. The thought barely crosses my mind when he is answering.

"Yeah, I like to decorate the cakes. I don't really get to paint much and its my only real opportunity."

I am about to reply to this when I feel Prim's grip on mine tighten. I look down and follow her eyes to Mrs. Mellark storming out of the bakery.

"_YOU LITTLE SEAM BRATS! HOW DARE YOU SOLICIT CAKES FROM ME?"_ She tears out of the doorway and within seconds she is at us, grabbing the cake out of my hand. "You think you can just take whatever you like, do you Seam brat? I'll show you-" She is cut off from my vision by Peeta, who is suddenly in front of me. The look of his eyes frightens me, as they have turned from sky blue to black with anger.

"Katniss, you need to leave right now. I am so sorry, I shouldn't have…"

He doesn't have time to finish because his witch mother has spun him around and it shouting her tirade even louder. I grab Prim and begin to run back towards the Seam, back to safety. Our safety. _Is he ever safe?_


	5. Chapter 5

The next day Monday at school I see him standing with his friends, a sickening black bruise swelling under his eye and temple. I shudder and try not to think of what could have caused it. Part of me thinks he will come up and talk to me again, but he just carries on as if our conversation at the bakery had never occurred. _He is probably too embarrassed to be seen with a Seam girl. I'm told they are only good for one thing…_I spy Madge walking towards me and am grateful for the distraction. I have been thinking too much about this strange boy with his strange little cakes. Madge notices something is off with me and gives me an inquisitive look, but doesn't pry. _I knew I was friends with you for a reason_. The rest of the day goes by without much thought, but that is normal as school is not something terribly interesting to me. After we are released I wander over to collect Prim and notice her running towards me with a small package in her hands.

"Katniss! Katniss! Look what I got!" She is positively giddy with excitement. I take the package in her hands and am immediately overcome with the smell of fresh bread, similar to the smell of the loaves Gale brings out to the woods. "Where did you get this? Prim, please tell you didn't." "_Katniss_! Of course I didn't! Someone left it in my desk at lunch!" She has the biggest smile on her face, and her eyes focus on something behind me. I turn around and see him standing across the yard, on his face a smile so bright you hardly notice his bruise. It drops as soon as I stalk towards him, eyes ablaze with anger.

"We don't need your bread, Peeta! We are not some charity case that needs your pity. I am _fully_ capable of providing for my family!" I am yelling at him, and this anger builds and the next thing I know I shove him back. He stumbles but remains standing, so I take another step towards him. All of a sudden, I am yanked back by two strong hands that can only belong to one person- Gale.

"Whoa whoa whoa, what the hell is going on here? What did you do, Bread Boy? What did you do to her?" He is only a few inches taller than Peeta, but his fury seems to give him an advantage. But Peeta is broad-shouldered, and strong from lifting all those bags of flour at the bakery. _This isn't going to end well_.

I look up at them and see that neither one is planning on backing down.

"This doesn't concern you, Hawthorne." Peeta's once sweet, gentle voice has turned harder than gravel.

"Anything that concerns her, concerns me. So unless you are planning on telling me what the _hell_ is going on here, I'm going to assume the worst and you don't want that to happen."

"_STOP!_" Her small voice is louder than I've ever heard it before. The three of us turn around and see Prim. My sweet, sweet Prim, with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You stop right now! Peeta was just being nice, and you ruined it! How could you, Katniss?" The tears are pouring out now. My heart sinks into my chest. _I can't believe I hurt her. I am supposed to protect her, never hurt her_.

"Its okay Prim, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have brought it if I had known it would be so…so…I'm sorry Prim." Peeta's voice has returned to its normal, kind self, and he reaches down to pat her on the head. She looks up at him and gives him a sad smile. I feel those butterflies in my stomach again, but I don't have time to fully comprehend what it means because Gale is grabbing our arms, tearing us away from him.

"Watch yourself, Mellark. I don't want to see you near them again." His voice was thick with implications, none of which I want to picture.


	6. Chapter 6

"What was that about, Katniss? Why is that baker kid talking to you?" Gale and I are out in the woods. After the confrontation he mumbled something about needing to go shoot something, so I figured I would let him cool off. I don't understand why he got so heated. I can handle myself just fine, like I've been forced to for years.

"Katniss! Are you even listening to me? What were you doing with him?" His grey eyes bore into me, demanding answers that I am not sure I can give. _He must be really mad if he's using my real name_.

"I- he- he gave us bread and I just got mad, okay? I didn't need his help! Can we just drop it?"

"He looked like he wanted to give you a lot more than bread."

His words stop me short. "What are you talking about?" My voice comes out in a whisper.

"Don't play dumb with me, Catnip. Is there something going on between you two?" His voice drops, but remains bitter. "You can't be that oblivious."

This really angers me. "You don't know what you're talking about! Just drop it!" I shove him back for good measure. I don't know why I am so angry. Why would he think there is something going on? I don't even know Peeta. _Maybe I want to know him_. The thought stops me short again. And why does Gale even care?

"You're getting really worked up, Catnip, and I don't like it-"

"I don't have to do what you like, Gale! You don't control- "

"FINE!"

I am silenced. He has never yelled like this before, and before I can say anything he turns and stalks off. I could've sworn I heard him grumble something about "killing Bread Boy", but I ignore that. I stand there for a few minutes longer, trying to figure out what had just happened. Then I turn and start walking back home.

The sun is setting as I walk through the Seam, and the most beautiful orange colors the sky. A small smile creeps across my lips. It amazes me that something so simple and beautiful can exist in a place like this. I am almost back to my house, when a strange feeling forces me to keep walking. I just keep walking until I realize where I am. I see him sitting out on the back stoop, head buried in hands. He doesn't look up until I am right in front of him. My years of hunting have allowed me to sneak up on almost anyone, aside from Gale. _Gale._ I clench my fist at the thought of him, but instead just softly clear my throat. Peeta is obviously startled, and I am tempted to laugh until I remember why I am here. He is looking up at me, his piercing blue eyes shocked.

"Why did you do that?" Again, with my demanding voice. _Can I do anything right?_

"It wasn't a big deal, Katniss." My heart skips when he says my name. _What is the matter with me?_ "I just wanted to do something nice to make up for what happened the other day. I wanted you to know that it was okay."

_He wanted to do something nice for me? He doesn't even know me. _"You didn't need to do that." A blush begins to creep up my cheeks.

"You're welcome." A smirk creeps across his lips.

"I never said thank you!" His eyes are so disarming. "But…thank you. It means a lot to Prim."

"Do you want to come by the bakery some time?" His eyes reveal something that I haven't seen in years. Hope.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think that's the best idea." My mind flashes back to his mother, that evil creature tearing out of the house screaming for all of Panem to hear.

"I promise she won't be there." It's almost as if he can read my thoughts. "Katniss, I am truly so sorry about today. But I understand if there are people who might not want you to be seen with me…" His eyes drop to his hands, which are fidgeting nervously with his shirt.

"I'm sorry about Gale." I blurt out without even thinking. "I can take care of myself and he shouldn't have gotten invol-"

"Are you with him?" His eyes are boring into mine now.

"We're just friends." I am suddenly overcome by the need to reassure this boy I don't even know. It's the truth, but there is also something about saying Gale is only a friend feels off.

"Do you think we could be friends?"

_Friends? He wants to be my friend?_And before I can say anything I am nodding in agreement. _What are you doing Katniss? Boys from town don't want to be friends with girls from the Seam. Not the friends you want at least_. But I am interrupted when a wide smile breaks out across his face, reaching his eyes and making them sparkle. I can't help but recognize that this is the third time Peeta Mellark has given me that stomach-turning feeling, and without hesitation a small smile creeps up on my lips.

"You should smile more. It looks nice on you." And with that, he gets up and turns back into the bakery.


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up the next morning with Prim curled up beside me and smiled. She wasn't having nightmares anymore now that her first Reaping had passed. I gently nudged her awake and we both reluctantly get ready for school. As we walk, my mind is replaying the events of the day before. I spend most of the day like this, thinking about his bright blue eyes smiling back at me. I am sitting with Madge at lunch when suddenly the bench I am sitting on sinks down on my left. Madge is staring at me, wide-eyed and I turn to see Peeta, smiling warmly at her.

"Mind if I join you today?" His cheeks are flushed red.

Madge looks at me incredulously, obviously waiting for my reaction. I hadn't yet told her about our conversation at the bakery, and I can tell she knows I am withholding information.

"Okay." I manage to stutter out, and I look around to see most of the eyes at lunch trained on our table. _This is why you don't have friends, Katniss._ Peeta politely turns to Madge and starts a conversation, which I can barely focus on. His arm is almost brushing against mine and I can feel its warmth. I feel gooseflesh creeping up my arm and I quickly jam it underneath the table. I watch Madge, who can so easily keep up with a conversation, and soon Peeta has her laughing, causing more people to stare. Soon enough, lunch is over and I stand up abruptly, tripping over my chair and immediately I am overcome with the sense that I am falling. _This is going to hurt_. But before I can hit the ground I feel two strong arms wrap around me, stopping my flight backwards. I open my eyes and see his face, brow furrowed with concern.

"Are you alright? That chair really came out of nowhere, huh?"

I stare back at him in shock and see the corners of his mouth turn upwards. _He is laughing at me. _I can tell my eyes have become hardened because the smile drops, along with his arms.

"I'm _fine_!" And with that I am out the door.

I have the urge to run down the hallway, to the woods, away from it all. _Why is this happening? I don't even know him, why can't I just talk to him?_ But I hear someone coming up behind me. _He would be a terrible hunter_.

"Look, Katniss, I don't know what I keep doing to upset you but I'm just trying to help."

"Help? You just make things worse! Can't you see that?" My words have stung, and the hurt is written all over his face. I am so terrible with words, and I immediately regret saying this to him.

"Is that really how you feel?" His voice is so small and childlike, it takes me back. "Because if it is, I'll just leave you alone."

_No. Please don't leave me alone_. I am confused by these feelings that are drawing me to this boy, but I know the last thing I want is for him to leave me alone. I am always so alone.

"Katniss, please. Just tell me."

"I'm not good at saying things how I mean them to come out. I- I didn't mean to yell at you like that."

He reaches out a tentative hand, and carefully places it on my arm. The spot where our skin touches is hot, and the warmth spreads down my arm. I've never really been touched by a boy before, apart from Gale, and the feeling makes me uneasy. But I don't move away.

"Can we just…hang out? I won't try and help, I promise." And the smile is creeping back onto his face.

"Okay." His smile breaks out into a full grin, and I can't help but return it. _Since when do I smile this much?_ I feel a blush creep onto my cheeks, which only makes things worse.

"Okay. Tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow."

That night I dream about him. His blonde hair glistening in the morning sun, and his laugh washing over me and filling me with warmth and comfort. And his eyes. Those blue eyes that seem to pierce through mine, trying to figure out what is inside my head. And his hands, wrapped around mine, make me feel like nothing in the world could ever harm me. I would be safe, here with the boy and his bread.


	8. Chapter 8

Gale and I are back out in the woods. Things between us have been a bit icy, both of us too stubborn to concede. We hunt in silence, which is better that way anyways, but I can't help but miss my best friend. We sit in the meadow after collecting our game, and stare out into the woods. I am lost in thought when his voice brings me back.

"Hey, Catnip? Are you busy later? I was thinking you and Prim could come by for dinner tonight."

I freeze. I had an arrangement to meet Peeta later, and the thought of standing him up made me uneasy. "I-we can't tonight. Sorry Gale, Prim said she wanted to walk into town tonight to see the Autumn Festival." _This isn't a total lie, I told Peeta I wanted to bring her along._

He smiles at me. "I'll go with you!" But his expression drops when I tell him, "I think Prim wanted it to be just the two of us. You know, since my dad used to take us…." I trail off, overcome by emotions I am constantly trying to suppress.

"I understand. Maybe some other time." His voice has quieted, and he looks disappointed. Sad even. Something about this feels off to me. I hate lying to Gale, but I know he would be angry if I told him who I was really meeting. I suddenly realize I don't want to be here anymore, so I jump to my feet and tell him I am going to go get ready. And with that I turn and run off.

Prim is staring at me and I try and comb through the tangled mess that is my hair. She cocks her head and raises one eyebrow, a look she and my mother both love showing me.

"What is different about you, Katniss? You're acting funny." These are the times I curse Prim acting older than her twelve years.

"Nothing is different, little duck. I'm just looking forward to spending time with you tonight, that's all." I can see her eyeing me suspiciously as she nods in agreement. _Great. This should be a fun evening._

"Okay Katniss. Whatever you say." I give her a playful nudge on the shoulder. I look back into the mirror. I am dressed in my tight brown hunting pants and a sweater of my mother's that is the color of cream. It stands out against my dark skin and hair, which is pulled back into the braid I wear every day. I pull on my boots, all the while trying to figure out why I am so nervous.

We walk hand in hand into town as the sun is setting. Prim is practically pulling me along, trying to get to the festival as soon as possible. When we arrive at the town square, it has been completely transformed. Reds and browns and oranges and yellows decorate the stands, with twinkling lights strewn about. My mouth drops in astonishment. The only other time I am in the town square is the day of the Reapings. But this place is beautiful. Prim squeals with delight and runs off to the nearest stand, which is covered in candies that make my mouth water. I begin to follow her, and find myself nervously looking around to find Peeta. _Maybe he isn't coming. No-he _probably_ isn't coming. This was a mistake_. But sure enough, my eyes find him. He is standing behind the bakery table with his older brother, I think it's the one they call Ryen. They seem to be laughing together when Ryen meets my gaze. He elbows Peeta and nods in my direction, and instantly those bright blue eyes have found mine. He flushes red, and returns Ryen's jab, looking embarrassed. I can feel a blush coming over my cheeks as he walks over to me.

"You came!" He is smiling so brightly, I can feel my cheeks reddening even more.

"Yeah, well, Prim can't resist her sweets."

"Neither can I." My eyes must convey the confusion I feel because he laughs and grabs my hand and starts leading me towards Prim. I would normally pull my hand away but it feels so good, so safe with him. Prim spots us walking together, mainly our hands together, and gives me a knowing look. She then jumps into Peeta, wrapping her tiny arms around his sturdy frame in an embrace. I would normally be shocked, but Prim loves everyone, and the feelings are always mutual. Peeta wraps his free arm around her laughing, never once letting go of my hand. _This feels so nice_, I think, but then realize a small group of girls our year from town gaping at us. I drop Peeta's hand nervously and cross my arms in front of myself. He looks back at me, then notices we have an audience and just shakes his head. Prim sees this and frowns, but then takes both of our hands in hers and begins leading us around the stands. There are breads and meats and wines and foods that I could never dream of affording. It is not typical for someone from the Seam to come to the Autumn Festival, but many of the merchants recognize me from my trades. Peeta insists on buying something for Prim and I, so I let him treat us to a small cup of something from the meats tables. I hastily drink it down and _Oh my, this is amazing_. I look to Peeta with a guilty grin on my face, and he laughs.

"It's lamb stew. It's my favorite thing to get here."

"I can see why! This is the best thing I've ever tasted." He watches me finish every last morsel. We walk around some more, and notice a small band has begun to play some traditional District songs and people are beginning to dance.

"Would you like to dance with me, Katniss?" _Katniss._ Every time he says my name I get gooseflesh.

"I don't dance." And it's true. I am a hunter, not a dancer, and am proud of that.

"Everyone can dance. Come on, just dance with me." He takes my hand again and there is a pleading look in his eyes that I don't know if I can refuse.

"I- uh-"

"Catnip?" A voice causes me to turn around and I see that I am face to face with Gale. His grey eyes are furious and hurt and confused and threatening all at the same time.

"What is going on here, Katniss?" _There he goes, saying my name again. None of this can be good._ "I thought you were coming alone with Prim. But I guess you were lying about that too." His voice is practically spitting out hatred with every word.

"I wasn't lying! He was just here and-"

"Don't even try to tell me there isn't something going on between you and him! You lied before but you can't again Katniss. This is low, even for you!" His words send a heat through me that can only be associated with the anger I feel towards him.

"Katniss?" Peeta drops my hand and is looking at me now, his voice low. "What is he talking about?"

"I've had it with you, Bread Boy. I told you to stay away from her and I meant it!" And before I can say a word he lashes out with his fist, hitting Peeta square in the jaw, sending him to the ground.

"Enough!" I see Ryen run towards us, voice booming. "That is enough! Get out of here Hawthorne." I can see the anger in his eyes, and he stands a few inches taller than Gale. Gale is fuming, but takes a step back.

"I'm leaving. Are you coming Katniss?" I look at him, and then to Peeta, who is rubbing his jaw, still splayed on the ground.

"Katniss?" His voice is soft and his blue eyes seem to beg me to stay. I look around, and everyone has stopped to watch the commotion that we have created.

"I'm sorry Peeta. I should go." I barely whisper this as I feel the tears forming in my eyes. _Please don't hate me._ I look back at Gale, who has a smug look starting to form on his face. _I'm going to be sick._ I turn around and stalk out of the square, ashamed, hurt, confused, and worst of all, wishing I had stayed.


	9. Chapter 9

Prim doesn't speak to me the entire walk back. _I wouldn't want to speak with me either_. She runs ahead when we get back to our house, and I am about to follow her in when Gale grabs my arm.

"What are you doing?"

"Well right now I'm trying to walk into my house, Gale." My words are cutting. I am furious with him after that catastrophe in town.

"Why him?" His voice is lower, which makes me turn and face him. His grey eyes are hurting and I don't know why. "What makes him so special?"

"It doesn't even matter now! He probably will never speak to me again!"

"Do you…like him?" His honesty takes me back. _Do I like him?Did I like Peeta?_I've never thought of anyone that way before. I don't even notice when a blush crawls across my cheeks. But Gale does.

"Oh. God, Katniss! Why him? You don't even know him! You can't even see what is in front of you, what you've known your entire life!" I see tears coming into his eyes as I stand there, speechless. _What is he talking about?_ I don't have time to respond because the next moment he is kissing me. His lips are hot and angry, and they press against mine hungrily. _Gale is kissing me. Gale is kissing me. This is wrong. This isn't how it was supposed to happen_. And then I am trying to push away, push away from everything and everyone. He breaks away and is breathing heavily.

"I love you, Katniss."

_WHAT?_

"I have always loved you. He doesn't even know you like I do. You have to see that."

I can't be here anymore. I look down and up and anywhere but at Gale, and finally just say it. "I can't."

I haven't seen Gale in over a week. I've stopped by his house to try and apologize, but Hazelle just gives me a sad smile and tells me he is out. I tried searching the woods, but he has gotten pretty good at hiding from me. I don't know what I would say to him anyways, even if I found him. _I'm sorry. I can't love you. I can't love anyone, I'm just not built that way. You're my best friend._ Some friend I am.

After what happened at the festival, Peeta hasn't spoken to me. Or looked at me, for that matter. He doesn't sit with Madge and I again at lunch, and it feels like I am alone again. Wanting to feel his warmth beside me, his hands on mine. Madge was at the festival and knows what happened between him and Gale, but I am still surprised one day to hear her ask me about it.

"Be honest, Katniss. You miss him, don't you?" She gives me a sad smile. Everyone is giving me sad smiles these days.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I've been sitting across from you every day for years. You've never looked this upset before. You miss him. It's okay to miss him."

_You don't even know me! _I would have the urge to snap at her, but she is looking at me with such genuine eyes that I don't.

"Yeah, I guess I do." _I might as well admit it. I miss Peeta. _This answer surprises her, as if she wasn't expecting me to say it. I don't think I myself was expecting to say it, but there it is.

"Well then, do something about it." She looks at me, and for the first time in days, there isn't a trace of sadness in her smile.


	10. Chapter 10

_What am I doing? He's going to think I'm crazy. Maybe I am crazy._ I stand below the bakery window, pacing nervously in the dark. _Now or never Katniss, now or never_. I pick up a small rock and toss it up to the bedroom window. Nothing. I toss another, and finally the clink has woken him up. I see him poke his head out the window, trying to see through the dark.

"Peeta!" I whisper as loud as I dare. He drops his gaze and spots my outline in his yard.

"What do you want?" I wince at the obvious hurt in his voice.

"Please, Peeta. I need to talk to you." He looks at me for a minute, shakes his head, and closes the window.

_Well that went well. You look like a crazy person and he never wants to talk to you again_. I am turning around to retreat home when I hear the door creak open. He walks out into the yard, and I am immediately stricken by how good he looks. His blonde hair is tousled from sleep, and even though it is dark out somehow his eyes still shine. My eyes trail down to his chest, and I notice he is not wearing a shirt. His shoulders are broad, strong, and I want to reach out and touch them. He has grey sweatpants slung low on his hips, and his feet are bare. Only one thought crosses my mine. _He is beautiful_. I realize that I have been staring at his body and look up to find his blue eyes staring right back.

"What are you doing here Katniss?" He looks at me suspiciously, and I feel uneasy.

"I wanted to come apologize. About the festival."

"It's fine." His eyes are filled with hurt.

"No its not, Peeta. None of that should have ever happened."

"I think you made that perfectly clear." This stops me, and I realize he thinks I am talking about going with him.

"I should've stayed with you!" I blurt this out and he stares at me, surprised. "I-I should never have left you."

His voice is quiet, but determined. "And why is that, Katniss?"

_I don't know why. I don't know anything anymore_.

"I don't know."

"Well, let me know when you figure that out." And before I know it, he is walking back to his house.

"Please don't leave me!" The words escape my lips in a cry, and I curse myself because I can feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. I can see him flinch when he hears the pain in my plea.

"I should've stayed because I wanted to be there! With _you_! And I left you alone and now I'm alone and I'm sorry!" The tears roll down my cheeks and before I know it he is there, right in front of me, reaching up and caressing my cheek, wiping away the tears with the softest touch.

"Please don't cry. Shhh Katniss, don't cry." He takes me in his arms and envelops me in his warmth. The tears are wetting his bare chest, but he only pulls me closer. No one has held me like this since my father. It feels so good in all the right ways, and a sigh escapes my lips. He tucks his finger underneath my chin and lifts it up. He bends down and presses his lips against my cheek, my tears. The spot he touches feels on fire, and I am thankful it is dark and he can't see how fiercely I am blushing.

For a while we stand there, linked together, staring into each other's eyes.

" You have no idea, the effect you have on me. Katniss…" His voice trails off.

"Yes?" My voice is no louder than a breath.

"I still want that dance." And before I can object, his arms are around me once more, and he is slowly swaying back and forth, humming a song. _I know that song. It's the Valley Song._ I gasp and look up at him and he continues to hum.

"You know the Valley Song?"

He smiles. "You sang it the very first day of school. We were five. Our teacher asked if anyone knew it and before anyone could answer, your hand shot straight up. So you climbed on the chair and sang it and boy, was I a goner. I never could forget that song, Katniss."

My tears begin to fall again, and without thinking, I stand up on my tiptoes and press my lips gently against his jaw. A bruise had started to form where Gale hit him, and the sight of it made me wince. He inhales sharply as I move to find his lips. This kiss is different than the one Gale and I shared. His lips are soft, warm, and make my stomach flutter. He holds me steady, his strong hands on the small of my back, and I hear him sigh. When we break apart I am no longer crying. He smiles the widest smile at me, and I feel myself smiling back at him.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that."


	11. Chapter 11

Peeta

I slowly creep back up the stairs into my room. I'm not the quietest of people, and I cannot afford to wake up my family. I slip back through the bedroom door and turn around, only to find Ryen staring back at me. _Oh no._

"What did your girlfriend want?" He has a cocky smirk on his face that makes me scowl.

"Shouldn't you be asleep right now? And she's not my girlfriend." _Although I want her to be._

"Whatever you say, Peet. Just know that she'll kill you both when she finds out." The thought makes me shudder. My mother has never been the most affectionate of women, and I have the bruises and scars to prove it. I don't want to think about what she would do if she found out about me seeing a girl from the Seam. _Were we even seeing each other?_

"Just shut up and go back to bed." I try and mask the fear in my voice, but Ryen is my brother after all, and we have shared a room our entire lives.

His voice quiets down, and there is more understanding. "It's about time with you two, though. Maybe now you'll stop mumbling her name in your sleep every night and I can finally get a decent night's rest around here."

I sit up and throw a pillow at him, and he laughs and rolls over to return to sleep. For me, however, sleep seems impossible. My head is swimming with the feelings I have just felt, with her. The tears in her eyes, each one breaking my heart. To hear her say she wanted to be with me after all these years was almost too much to bear. And the kiss. I could spend the rest of my life doing just that and I would be happy. Her small, shaking hands pressing against my bare chest, and her lips, full and soft, igniting my whole body on fire. _She is beautiful_. And with those thoughts, I drift away.

I catch her eye the next morning at school, and a shy smile breaks out across her perfect skin. My face flushes red, and I am beaming. My friend Ander elbows me in the ribs, breaking my gaze.

"What happened with you and Hawthorne last night? He seemed pretty bent on giving you a message." His eyes flicker down to the bruise on my jaw. "Was it about that Seam girl? What's that all about, anyways?"

My eyes harden. "It was nothing. And her name is Katniss, not 'Seam girl'. Just let it alone."

He is clearly taken aback by my change in attitude. "Didn't mean to pry, Peet. Just asking the question everyone else has been talking about for days."

That comment causes me to look around, and for the first time I notice how many people are staring at me. I turn back to him.

"Sorry. I think the hit jostled my brain a bit." He laughs, and I continue. "And it's just another bruise, right?" He gives me a sad look, and we walk to class.

I can't stop thinking about her. _When is the next time I'll see her?_ I'm longing for more time with her, to talk to her, look at her, kiss her. _Love her_. But no matter how happy I am about the night before, something tells me this isn't going to be easy for either one of us.

We don't have any classes together, so the next time I see her is at lunch. I slide onto the bench beside her, and I can tell she wasn't expecting me because there is a look of shock in her eyes. My brow furrows in confusion, but her striking grey eyes warm within seconds. Madge takes her usual seat across from Katniss, gives us a look, but simply smiles and unpacks her lunch. I can see easily why the two are friends, as both are quiet and keep mostly to themselves. We chat casually throughout lunch, but it is hard for me to focus with Katniss so close to me. Our arms are practically touching, and her warmth radiates through me. When lunch is over, Madge hurriedly gathers her things and darts off, leaving Katniss and I alone.

I clear my throat. "So I was wondering…" I stop when she turns to look at me. Her eyes are so beautiful and piercing, I lose track of my thoughts. I am just staring at her when she looks away nervously, bringing me back. "I was wondering if I could see you tonight."

"Tonight?" She looks down at her hands and my heart sinks. _You idiot. She doesn't want to be with you. You aren't with this girl_. But before my thoughts get any farther, she reaches out and squeezes my hand.

"Okay."


	12. Chapter 12

The walk to the Seam is beautiful. The sunset has painted the sky a beautiful orange. _My favorite color_. I have a small package of cookies for her mother and Prim with me, which I pass nervously between my hands. It must be uncommon for someone from town to come to the Seam, because I have received more than a few stares and raised eyebrows. _Ignore it, Peet._ _You're doing it for her_. I turn the corner to approach her house when I am intercepted by a large figure. _It's Hawthorne. Why does he show up every time I am with Katniss_?

"A little lost, Bread Boy?" His words are vicious.

"Not at all, but your concern is touching." I know I shouldn't antagonize him, but he has gotten on my last nerve.

"That's some bruise you got there. Fall down?" He hovers over me by a few inches, but I grew up with two older brothers and know not to back down.

"Look, Hawthorne, I'm not here for you, I'm here for her." If it is even possible, he looks angrier.

"I guess I wasn't clear enough when I told you to stay away from-"

"She asked me to be here." I can tell he was not expecting this because it stops him short.

"She…wants you here?"

"Yeah, she does. And I know you don't want to hurt her so if you don't mind I would like to be on my way." I look at him carefully, analyzing the flood of emotion coming to his face. I move to the side and begin to walk by him when he grabs my arm. Our eyes meet, both pairs unrelenting.

"If you think I'm just going to let you have her, you're crazy." _Have her? Do you not know her at all?_

"She's no one's to have, Gale." He gives me one last glare and ducks back into his house.

I hurry the rest of the way, hoping I am not too late. I am fuming after the confrontation with Gale. _How can he think he can have her? She isn't some piece in this game he is playing. She is so much more_. I get to the door and she appears almost instantly, taking my breath away. She is wearing the brown pants I've seen her in more times than I can count, and a forest green shirt. It is a warm night, so neither of us have jackets. But what stuns me the most is her face. Her smooth, olive skin is bright, and her eyes seem to be lit from within. Her hair is shiny and tucked into her braid, which drapes over her shoulder. _She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen_.

"Hi." A smile curls up on the sides of her mouth.

"Hi. Sorry if I kept you waiting. I got held up with something." _Or someone_.

"You didn't. What's that?" I notice her suspicious eyes on the package in my hands. "Is that for me?"

"No, actually…" Her expression drops. "It's for Prim." At the mere mention of her sister's name, a dazzling smile breaks out.

"She'll love it. Would you like to give it to her?" I nod, and she grabs my hand and leads me inside.

The house is small, but warmth exudes from it. Prim is sitting on a couch with a lumpy ball of fur cuddle up to her, purring. She sees me and nearly drops the cat, which causes Katniss to let out a laugh. It is melodic and delicate, and I realize how much I want to be the person to make her laugh. Prim rushes over and wraps her arms around me, and I lean down and plant a kiss on her head. Katniss looks at me with an eyebrow raised, but says nothing.

"Peeta! I am so very glad you came! I've missed your cakes! You too, of course!" She has stopped looking at me and is now staring at the package in my hand. I laugh, and notice a flush creep onto Katniss' cheeks. She looks so alive, I want to reach out and touch her.

I hand Prim the package and she runs to share some with the cat. I notice that I am still holding Katniss' hand. It feels so natural I can't bear the thought of ever having to let go. She gives Prim a swift kiss on the cheek and pulls me out the back door.

"Where to, Miss Everdeen?" She smiles at me brightly, gooseflesh raising up on my arms.

"There's somewhere I want to show you. I hope you don't mind the woods." She looks up at me, expectantly.

I swallow the lump in my throat. _The woods? This girl is going to be the death of me_. "Not at all." I barely manage to get this out, but she simply smiles and starts leading me to the fence.


	13. Chapter 13

The walk is quiet, but not uncomfortable. I am overwhelmed by the beauty of the woods, the trees and the emerging stars. She glances at me every so often, but we don't speak. We reach a clearing and Katniss stops.

"We're here." Her voice is breathless, and I look all around me. We are standing in a meadow, knee deep in lush grass. There are dandelions everywhere. I look back at her and she is staring up at the sky.

"Isn't it the most beautiful thing?"

"Yes." And I am not even looking at the sky. She looks back at me and I can see the blush on her face. We sit down next to each other, arms touching, and for a while we stay silent.

"My father used to take me here when I was little." There is an edge to her voice, and I know why. I know about her father's death- I watched her every day at school, wanting to do something to take away her pain but knowing I was helpless.

She continues. "It was our special place, his and mine. I come here often to think about him."

I say nothing, and stare back at this wonder of a girl sitting next to me.

"You said you liked to paint. That day at the bakery when, well you know. But I remember you saying it, and I tried to think of the most beautiful place I knew, and this was it." She is smiling, but looks back at me expectantly.

I can only stare at her. This girl, who has lost so much of herself and gives so much to others, has given me a part of her. _She is amazing. _I cannot fathom how I am lucky enough to be sitting here with her right now.

"Thank you for this. This is the best thing anyone has ever done for me." I cautiously lean over closer to her, half expecting her to lean away, but she remains perfectly still. A smile turns up on the corner of my lips, and then I very gently place my lips on her cheek. Her skin is smooth and warm, and I can feel her body shiver. She turns her face towards mine and our lips meet for the second time. It starts slowly, softly, but quickly builds into more. I have never kissed anyone like this before. She wraps her arms around my neck, one hand tangling with my hair. My hands are at her waist, pulling her towards me. I feel a stirring deep inside me, hungry for more. I gently pull her onto me, holding her in my lap. We kiss until we are out of breath and then pull away, both of us breathing heavily. Her cheeks are red, and this time I reach out to hold my hand against her cheek. She catches it and presses it against her lips, and I can see her eyes shining fiercely.

"I take back what I said before." Her brow furrows and I can't help but laugh. "_That_ was the best thing anyone has ever done for me." We are both laughing, and lean back in the grass. She places her head on my chest as I wrap my arms around her. We lie there silently, staring up at the stars.


	14. Chapter 14

Katniss

Over the next few weeks, we fall into a routine. Peeta sits with Madge and I at lunch, and the initial interest surrounding this change has died down. When no one is looking, he will sometimes reach under the table and squeeze my hand. I never thought that I would feel so comfortable with someone so quickly, but Peeta has a way of making everything feel alright. It is easier for me to sneak away without Prim and my mother noticing, so most nights I walk into town to the bakery. We spend hours together, walking through District 12, talking, learning about each other. I learn that his favorite color is orange, the color of a sunset. He likes to sleep with the windows open and feel the night breeze as he sleeps. He hates sugar in his tea, which I find funny because he eats so many of the sweets he makes in the bakery. He double knots his shoelaces. His eyes light up when I laugh. His brow furrows when he draws, and he looks like he is off in another world. I tell him about my father. He holds my hand as I tell him about his eyes, his laugh, the way he taught me to hunt and swim. After a while, my tears stop. I can talk about him with a joy I never understood before. We spend nights in the meadow, my head in his lap, staring at the stars.

He starts walking Prim and I home from school. He is so incredible with Prim, and she adores him. It might have something to do with the cookies he sneaks her every, but after a few days her eyes begin to light up when she sees him waiting for her. He tells her that her eyes are like mine, and I smile because I know mine must light up like hers whenever I am with him. My mother even seems different, more engaged when the three of us get home. She often asks Peeta about his father, which causes us to look at each other with curious glances.

One afternoon in early winter, the first snow began to fall in District 12. Peeta had to work early at the bakery, so I stand alone by the lower schoolyard, waiting for Prim. The cold chills me to the bone, which is easy due to the lack of a proper winter coat. That is luxury we have never been able to afford. I see Prim in the throng of children. She runs over to me, a confused look on her face.

"Where is Peeta? Is something wrong?"

"Not at all, little duck. He had to work earlier today but wanted me to tell you how sorry he was to have missed you." Her smile perks up on her lips. It fills my heart to see the effect he has on her.

"Will he be here tomorrow, Katniss? I really hope so. I like him a lot, you know."

"I know little duck."

"I bet I like him more than you do," and she shoots me a mischievous smile. I laugh and roll my eyes at her.

"Come on, I'm freezing. Let's get you home."

We hold hands and walk through town together. We are almost to the town square when I see a crowd gathered up ahead. Prim's hold on me tightens, and I have a sick feeling in my stomach as we walk up to the hushed crowd. _Something isn't right. Something is very, very wrong_. And that is when I hear the crack.


	15. Chapter 15

I turn to look back at Prim, and a terrified look has flooded into her eyes.

"Prim, I need you to listen to me. You need to go back to the bakery. You need to find Peeta. Everything is going to be okay. You just need to go find Peeta. Can you do that for me?" _Please don't ask questions Prim. Just go to Peeta. He will keep you safe._

She nods to me, and turns and runs back towards the bakery. I force myself to turn back around, and am trying to make my way through the crowd. _CRACK_. My heart drops and I become more frantic. I am almost to the front when _CRACK_. I fling my body past the last person when I see it. Thread, the head Peacekeeper, is standing over him, arm raised, whip in hand. I see a dead turkey strewn on the side, and I know immediately that the identity of the boy on the ground can only belong to one person. _Gale. I'm going to be sick_. Panic sets in when I see Thread's arm twitch. My body seems to move without my mind knowing what is happening, and a searing pain lashes across my left cheek when I finally realize I have thrown myself in front of Gale. I am preparing for the next blow when a bellowing voice pierces the air.

"_ENOUGH!" _My mind is racing to place the voice when Thread fills in the blanks for me.

"Well, well, well. Surprised to see you up and about, Haymitch. Shouldn't you be swimming in a bottle somewhere?" The malice is thick in his words.

"What the hell is going on here?" Haymitch's voice is rough and comes out in a growl. "Why the hell are you whipping this kid within an inch of his life?"

"He was caught poaching. And you know how the Capitol feels about citizens taking advantage of its land."

"I find it hard to believe that this many lashes is necessary for that damn bird over there. How many?" He is demanding.

"Forty." Haymitch's eyes grow wide and he becomes furious. "_FORTY? YOU NEAR KILL THE KID WITH FORTY LASHES FOR A DAMN BIRD?"_ He is in Thread's face now, spewing hatred with every word.

A woman steps forward from the crowd. I recognize her from one of the stalls at the Hob. "I believe the proper number of lashes has been administered, Sir." Her voice trembles but is firm.

Thread turns to look at her, eyes narrowed. He glares for a minute, then gives a gruff exhale, knowing the woman has spoken the truth.

"I would watch my back if I were you, Abernathy." He growls, then turns and stalks off.

Hawmitch kneels down next to Gale and I, ignoring the blood and snow that is seeping into his pant legs. His voice is quiet now. "You okay, Sweetheart?" His eyes look almost kind. It is a look I have never seen from him before.

"Gale. You have to help Gale. Gale." I can barely whisper the words. _He has to be okay. Is he even breathing? Please god let him be alive. I can't live without him_. I don't even have time to comprehend this last thought when I am being brought to my feet and placed to the side. Several men from the Seam have gathered around Gale and are gently moving him onto a board.

"Take him to Everdeen's. She has everything to heal him." _My mother. She has to save him_.

And with that, the men set off towards the Seam.

Haymitch is looking back at me know, and has his hands on my shoulders. "He's going to be okay, Sweetheart. You go home and see to that, okay? And get that cheek looked at. Wasn't too bright of you to go and do that now was it?" There is an edge in his voice, but genuine concern in his eyes.

And that is when the tears begin to fall. They seep into the gash on my cheek, and I wince because the sting is almost unbearable. He looks at me, unsure of how to handle the crying, bleeding girl before him.

"Go."

And I run.


	16. Chapter 16

The wind and snow whip at my face as I run back through the Seam. My legs collapse under me as I burst through the door. My mother and Hazelle are hovered over the kitchen table, hands moving rapidly over Gale's body. I let my eyes fall on him and all breath escapes me. He is unconscious and his back is barely recognizable. His skin lays in bloody shreds, and I lean over and wretch out all the contents of my stomach. My eyes and cheek are burning even more, the pain bordering on unbearable. Hazelle comes over to me with a cloth filled with snow.

"Hold this to your cheek, dear. Did it hit your eye at all?" I shake my head, and she hands me the cloth. The relief is instant, but I shudder when I think about how Gale must be feeling. Hazelle strokes my hair as I continue to sob.

"He's going to be alright, Katniss."

"_YOU DON'T KNOW THAT_! _YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THIS FEELS_!" I am screaming at both of them, but their faces remain stoic. _"YOU CAN'T JUST LET HIM DIE!" _My body is convulsing with sobs. _I am so sorry Gale. I am so sorry._ My mother stops reassembling Gale's back, and brings me a mug of something warm.

"Drink this, Katniss. It will be alright. Just drink this." I am too tired to fight anymore. I bring the mug to my lips and immediately taste the sweetness that can only mean one thing. Sleep is coming, and before it overcomes me, I manage to whisper out three simple words.

"I need him."

I wake up and am startled to discover myself in my bed. _When did I fall asleep?_ My memory jolts to the sleep syrup, which I can still taste on my tongue. _Gale_. The memory of what happened to him in the town square shudders through me, and I jump to my feet and race into the living room. It is still dark out, which means I was only asleep for a few hours. My cheek is throbbing and I gently run over the gash with my fingers. A scab is beginning to form, and I'm sure a bruise has already made its way. I realize that I am alone. Gale is breathing heavily, but still unconscious on the kitchen table. I pull out the chair next to him and take one of his large hands in both of mine. Even asleep, there is a pained look on his face, and his brow is furrowed. _Oh Gale. I am so sorry_. I realize that I have never really been this close to his face before. I gingerly reach out and stroke his cheek. I lean down and press my lips against his temple, and a small moan escapes his lips. I jerk my head back quickly to see his long eyelashes flutter open, and his grey eyes meet mine.

"Hey Catnip." The pain is obvious in his voice. My heart feels like it is splitting in two.

"Gale, I- I should've been there. I am so so sorry for leaving you, for turning you away. I am so sorry."

"I'm alright, Catnip. I'm just glad you're here again."

"But you're not alright! You almost died and you can't do that to me! You can't leave me!"

"I never did." I know the hurt in his voice is more than physical.

"I know." I can barely whisper the words before he is pressing his lips upon mine. This kiss is different than the first, and for some reason I don't pull away. This kiss is gentle and warm, and I can feel his pain disappear. When we pull apart, his eyes are closed and I can tell he is drifting back into slumber.

"You can't tell me you don't love me, Katniss. You can't kiss me like that and not feel something."

I don't have the chance to respond because I am startled by the sound of the door slamming shut. I turn and find two blue eyes trained on us, his mouth pressed into a tight line.

"Peeta-"

"Don't, Katniss. Just don't." He slams the door behind him and is gone.


	17. Chapter 17

Peeta

She is kissing him. The love of my life is kissing him. _Him_. _Gale._ The sight of it shatters everything I thought I knew about this girl. The door shuts behind me and I flinch, knowing that they will hear and look over to me. _Let her see me here. Let her see the pain in my eyes_. She does, and my name escapes her lips. I can't help but want to smile whenever she says my name, but this time is different. She looks guilty, and that can only mean one thing. _She loves him._

"Don't Katniss. Just don't." I hope she doesn't hear the heartbreak in my voice. I hope she doesn't follow me, but at the same time I want her to run after me. _Tell me to stay. Tell me it was all a mistake. Tell me to stay_. My legs move without my brain telling them where to go, and before I know it I am in the meadow. This place, where she gave me a piece of her and I gave her everything. Emotion drowns me and I collapse into the snow. Confusion. Betrayal. Hurt. Longing. Hate. Love. I lie there, numb from cold and from her. I barely notice the tears beginning to freeze to my cheeks. I had her and I lost her. _Did you ever have her?_ I begin to deny every feeling I have ever experienced with her. _Was it real? Not real? _The memories of her fade together with the lies she must have told me. I drift in and out of consciousness, lying in the snow. The pain of the cold proves that this is real, not a dream. When it becomes unbearable, I pick myself up and start the long walk back to the bakery.

I can tell she is there before I see her. The past few weeks spent with her have given me a heightened awareness of her presence. And sure enough, there she is. She is sitting by the tree behind the bakery, knees clutched tightly to her chest. I can see her shivering from where I stand. Her hair is loose from her braid, cascading around her shoulders and down her back. She looks so small, I have to fight every fiber in my body from wrapping her up in my arms. She sees me walking towards her and freezes. She looks so tired and helpless, my heart breaks even more. I stop a few feet in front of her.

"You shouldn't be out here. You'll freeze." Even through my pain, I can't help but need for her to be okay.

"Peeta."

"You shouldn't be here, Katniss."

"Peeta. Please." For the first time I meet her eyes, which are brimming with tears. The gash on her left cheek is swollen and bruised, and the sight of it breaks me. I kneel down in front of her and take her face gently in my trembling hands. I lean forward and press my lips against her wound. I take a deep breath and begin to speak.

"I know you love him. You've loved him your whole life, and that's not something I can come between. I've been coming between you for too long, and I need to let you go." The words are pained, and by her expression I know the pain shows on my face. She stares at me, silent. Minutes pass, her grey eyes trained on mine, but she remains silent.

"Well say something." I am pleading with her now. _Put me out of my misery_.

She looks down and speaks as if she were a small child. "I'm not good at saying something."

My eyes fall. Any last ounce of hope that remained in my body has disappeared. The pain in my chest is overwhelming, and my breathing quickens. I close my eyes. _This is a dream. Please tell me this is a dream. I will wake up tomorrow and none of this will have happened. Please let this be a dream._

I feel her breath against my lips and my eyes fly open to find her face, inches from mine. Her eyes are closed, and she leans in. At first, her lips are soft and gentle. I can feel her tears on my cheek, her arms wrapping around my neck. My hands find her waist and I pull her towards me. She pulls away and buries her head in my neck, placing her lips gently against my throat. Each spot where our skin meets ignite, and it feels like fire runs down to my toes.

"I love you." Her voice is so quiet I almost miss it.

I pull back and stare at her, confusion flooding my expression.

"Katniss-"

"No, Peeta. I love _you_."

This time it is me that is silent. Every feeling I have ever had about this girl suddenly has a purpose. _She loves me. She loves me. Is this a dream? Oh please don't let this be a dream_.

"Is this real? Please, Katniss. Is this real? Because if it is not real, I don't think I can handle having you this close to me right now." I study her face closely and see the corners of her mouth and twitch up into a smile.

"Real."


End file.
